Tara Palmer Tomkinson talks weight, drugs and Robbie Williams

“I don’t like being this thin. I look old and haggard.”

The warning call is made to the office a few hours before our interview with Tara is about to take place. The night before, she had had her car stolen from outside her house in West London. And it wasn’t just any old car. We’re talking an £80,000 special edition series 6 (whatever that means) BMW. Tara, 33, has been up all night with the police and has not had a wink of sleep. She’s upset (understandably) and exhausted. We are asked to go easy on her (as if we would be anything else!) and to expect her not to be in the best of moods.

When Tara walks in to the studio (she’s still on time) she looks pale and drawn, her face hidden behind a big, square pair of sunglasses. She is also very tearful. A cup of coffee and a comfy seat is quickly proffered and she flops down. “I’m sorry,” she says, unnecessarily apologising for her wobbly state, “I just feel so ”. Her eyes well up. “I love that car, it’s my baby. And I had loads of clothes in the boot… ’ Poor Tara. God, this isn’t the best time to ask her about her stint in the same rehab clinic as Kate Moss or why she, Tara, is so damn skinny at the moment. Still, you don’t get granted an audience with Miss PT very often. At the moment, she is doing a very good job of holding it together, so we start off on the fairly innocuous subject of Ant and Dec’s recent birthday party…

T: Oh, it was just the best night. One of the best birthdays I’ve ever been to actually. It was a completely great atmosphere, it was undruggy, unbitchy… There was a real feel good factor and everyone got a bit merry and had a good time.

Ant and Dec are such nice blokes, you don’t imagine them having tossers for mates, do you?

Yah, completely. And Robbie Williams and David Walliams and Denise Van Outen were there as well. Really good people and people I haven’t seen for a long time. All people who work in the industry, but there was a good energy about it. None of that sort of… drugginess. I mean, anywhere where I see drugs going on now, I think it is rancid.

When you’re out, do people see you as a challenge and offer you a line?

God, no way. Somebody could do a line in front of me and I wouldn’t care. It’s like having a bad oyster that makes you sick, sick, sick for a year. You are just never going to have that oyster again. I think people get tempted by it when they haven’t hit rock bottom but if you’ve been there, there’s no way you want to go back there. It was a relief when I went to rehab.

You were in The Meadows for cocaine addiction, the same place Kate Moss went for problems. It’s a tough place, isn’t it?

It has to be. But it’s a place with the most wonderful, kind and spiritual people in it. It gives people their lives back.

Will Kate have gone through hell in there?

Yeah, because you go back and you look at your demons and the things that have been affected in your life and the reasons you do things.

Do you know Kate?

Yah. I’ve always thought she was a lovely girl. I’ve never seen her off her head.

Your paths never crossed when you were doing drugs?

No, I don’t hang out with that set. But she’s always been very nice to me. I wish her the best of luck because it’s going to be difficult. Users hang out with users. She’s going to need some good, non-using friends around her. On my last night in the Meadows, I burnt my Louis Vitton Filofax because it had all my friends names in there and they all used. There is no way you are going to get clean if you are hanging around people who still use.

There have been stories going round you back on drugs because you have lost so much weight.

It’s so ironic. People are saying, “Oh she must be back on something because she’s so skinny.” I feel like saying: “If only you knew how ill, unhappy and shit I was.” There’s no way I’d go back on that.
But why are you so thin? I read recently it’s because of the break up with your ex Jamie Hargreaves.
Yeah, you know what? I broke up with my boyfriend. Somebody fucking fucked my life up, he did it in the summer, I didn’t see it coming and I was absolutely broken.

Why did he dump you?

He always said he felt incredibly inferior.

How?

Oh, in many ways. He was very chippy and jealous and he was always putting me down when I was with him.

But you were still gutted when it finished. Did you completely lose your appetite?

It wasn’t that. I was still eating, but I have such a high metabolism I need to eat four times as much as everyone else. My mum is the same. My body weight is totally made up of muscle, no fat. I don’t work out or anything, it’s just the way I am. So I would come at night and instead of having three pizzas like I normally would, I would have a couple of bowls of cereal. I lost interest in food. Whereas my fridge had been full the whole time and I was having people round… I just wanted to be on my own and be in my own bed and… cry [little sad laugh].

So you weren’t going for days not eating?

Not at all. You know what it’s like when you are happy, you’re going out with friends socialising and eating large meals and when you break up with somebody, you go through a very solitary phase where you stay at home and just be by yourself. Well, I do anyway.

[Tara’s mobile goes off]

Oh, excuse me while I get this. [Looks at the screen] “Duncan? Hi Schmooey, I’m just in an interview. [Listens for a moment] Yeah, I got your message honey, that’s great. Tomorrow night. [Voice wobbles] Do you know what, I had my car stolen last night. I’ve been in tears all day. Oh Schmooey, listen I’ll call you later. [Listens again] No don’t worry, I don’t want to stay long tomorrow either, ten minutes and I’m out the door. Alright, love you babe. Bye.”

Was that Duncan from Blue?

Yeah.

Did you just call him “Schmooey?”

Yah. [Her phone goes off again] Oh fucking hell, sorry. [This time it’s someone about a massage Tara’s having at 6pm]. So yah, anyway I was staying at home a lot, I wasn’t going out. I was broken. People were saying I was thin, but I was like: “Oh my god, you think that’s the worst of my problems. I have been under my duvet crying for days.”

It was the fact you lost so much weight that people talked about it.

Yeah and it always reverts back to: “Oh, is she back on drugs?” and that’s just not going to happen. You know, that was all seven years ago and I think it’s about time the nation granted me my recovery [laughs].

That’s probably because there have been a few pictures of you where your veins look really prominent.

People on smack don’t have veins and that’s what they were saying I was on. Look how muscly I am. I hate my arms. Every time I get out of a car before a red carpet, I always put my arms in the air and then the veins go. Look. [Shows me]. I’ve had it all my life.

Have you been to see a doctor about your weight?

Yeah, I go to see the doctor who delivered me all the time. He knows. The people who know me, my weight isn’t a problem. I have had tests and I am healthy.

Are you trying to put some pounds back on now?

Oh god, it’s the story of my life. I am always trying to put weight on. People can’t believe how much I eat but I’m just one of those people who’s naturally athletically built. I’ll put it back on when I go out to Australia for, I always eat loads out there.

So you’ve never had an eating disorder?

God, no. I could never do something like that.

How much weight do you think you’ve lost?

Since February, about two stone.

Shit Tara, you were tiny before.

I know [wry smile] But I did put on weight during last year. That was great. I don’t like being this thin. When I lose weight, I look old and haggard. It does not become me. It does become depressing when you have to go to Mothercare to get your clothes.

Do you?

Yeah. T shirts and stuff. For 12 year olds.

How much do you weigh?

Eight stone.

You look a lot less than that.

But I’m so muscly and it weighs more than fat. I’m a size 6 at the moment but I’ll put it on. I’ve got the man out of my system now and I’m a lot happier. I’ve got my life and my mojo back!

Are there any new men on the horizon?

No…

That was a knowing smile then! Is there someone?

There isn’t. I just like men who make me feel good about myself. And Robbie Williams really did on Sunday night.

Do you fancy him? He’s always moaning about not having a girlfriend…

No, I don’t. But there is a guy who can make a woman feel good about herself. [Pauses] He did write a song for me – Life Thru A Lense. If you listen to the lyrics… [starts singing] “Just because I ain’t double barrelled, don’t mean I haven’t travelled well.”

Another of the lines is: ‘She’s looking real drab, just out of rehab,’ – he’s not being very complimentary, is he?

[Laughs] It’s funny. But he can compliment people and it is a real gift. The other night, Robbie was just so nice and so kind and so gracious. I thought “What a decent person.” But don’t misconstrue that into a crush thing. I’ve known him for too long.

Tara is presenting I’m A Celeb… Get Me Out of Here Now! With Matt Brown on ITV2, 11pm from 20th November