Like, totes apparently and all that

Don’t get me wrong, I had an AMAZING time and me and the Other Half didn’t argue once. Well, apart from the time one of the wheels fell off my suitcase as he was making me attempt a vertical hill in Tuscany in thousand plus temperatures. But seriously, I fell apart! I THOUGHT going away on hols was meant to bring out a whole new you; tan, clear skin, sunkissed hair tumbling down brown back… No. I put on about a stone, get a massive mozzie bite right in the centre of my forehead, Cyclops style, and my hair managed to do a remarkable thing of being flat yet frizzy at the same time. My boyfriend even commented I looked like Neil out of The Young Ones, the cheek (my centre parting is so not working). Still, in the grand scheme of things I suppose I can still be grateful I’ve got a boyfriend. Can’t bear it, I’m a Holiday Troll!

OMG, have you tried M&S layered choc and honeycombe cookies? Seriously orgasmic! I’m trying to wean myself off them as a pack of 4 aren’t lasting long this days, but oh my! Try one at your peril. *brushes crumbs off keyboard*

K-Middy is o-va. That’s what I’m called the Duchess of Cambridge from now on.

(Do you think I’m slightly obsessed??)

Am I too old to go backpacking? I’m about to find out as me and the other half are about to depart for our whistle-stop tour of beautiful Italy. We’re staying in hostels (although I put my foot down at a dorm – the boyfriend’s snoring is enough to contend with) And he’s making me forgo my usual wheelie suitcase for a rucksack, as this is all about being footloose and fancy free. Apparently. It’s alright for blokes though isn’t it? A pair of flip flops and board shorts and they’re sorted. I’ve been having sleepless nights for weeks wondering what adapter to take for my electric toothbrush. But seriously, am soooo excited! Ciao for now, see you in a couple of weeks. jxx

The Duch of Cambridge, wowing the crowds in Canada. She’s deffo got a touch of the Dianas about her! Now all we have to sort out is Wills’ bald patch.

Check ME out! Mum came back from the Cotswolds with a little bag which I soon managed to have out of her hands. I was expecting something boring like Smackos which I like, ate once a million years ago and she keeps buying, but to my surprise it was a whole new outfit. I am now the proud owner of a waxed jacket (with authentic corduroy collar) and a nifty collar with a red neckerchief on it. I’m awaiting the phone call from Anna Wintour about the VOGUE shoot, if only she’d get off the bloody court at Wimbledon

Ooh, I’ve had a lovely couple of weeks ‘researching’ my new book (read as drinking lots of white wine at garden parties and country pubs) Last weekend I was in the heart of the Cotswolds at my friend Julian’s mum’s 70th birthday, which was a drinks party in their glorious garden. It wasn’t long before I commandeered the canape tray off the poor local lad who’d been brought in to help and hot footed it across the lawn in search of new inspiration for characters. A canape tray is a great way to push in/eavesdrop on people’s conversations and the hot topic that day was the four screaming police cars that had screeched up in the middle of a quiet afternoon that week, to swoop on an innoculous looking house that had its own marijuana plant. Brilliant! I also met a retired wing commander and a couple of fiftysomething ladies so tanned and glamorous they made Liz Hurley look like a destitute bag lady. LOVE the Cotswolds, can’t wait to get my books back there!