Want to serve your guests something festive? Try my world famous Winter Wonder.

The dark rum warms the cockles while the spicy aftertaste of ginger beer will give you a kick and liven up the party. It certainly does when Babs Sax is around anyway; I’ve had to limit her to no more than four Winter Wonders a night. I’m still recovering from the time she made a grab across the bar at my tackle, feeding me some cock and bull afterwards about how she was only after a packet of pork scratchings. She’s lucky I didn’t chuck her out!

Ingredients
Dark rum
Good quality ginger beer
Lime juice

Method
Get a tall glass and whack a couple of ice cubes in. Get your dark rum and add a healthy glug (I always aim for a double measure). Next pour over the ginger bubbles to make a long drink that’s not short on surprises. Squeeze half a fresh lime in and give the whole lot a good stir. Garnish with a fresh lime wedge. Voila!

JT

1. Don’t trust a man who only calls you ‘Sexy, Hot Lips etc’ and never by your first name. Chances are he’s got so many other women on the go he only sticks to terms of endearment in case he calls one of you by the wrong one. Happened to me once, luckily the en-suite bathroom had a sturdy lock on it. She soon got over it.
2. If his phone is always switched off last thing at night and first thing in the morning, don’t believe him when he says he needs his beauty sleep. He’s probably just taken some lucky lady to heaven and back. I’ve been there a few times myself…
3. You always go back to your place, not his. Forget the excuses about not having time to tidy up, his wife/live-in-girlfriend probably wouldn’t like it.
4. If he does pay for you, it’s always on his company credit card. That way he can write you off as expenses and the other half won’t find out about the cosy dinner for two at Le Gavroche.
5. Speaking of restaurants, never trust a man who insists on having the seat facing the door. It’s not that he can’t stand that dodgy oil painting on the wall behind or that he needs to stretch his legs (my personal favourite, it makes me seem taller), he’s just on guard for an awkward meeting with his other fillies.
6. When he calls, it always comes up as ‘private number’ as he only calls you from work. A true bastard guards his mobile number as fiercely as a Scotsman’s purse strings.
7. He guesses your bra size correctly on the first date just by looking. It happens to be a little trick of mine; you’ve either got it or you haven’t. I have, obviously. Took years of practise.

A final word:

Just because I haven’t had a date in three weeks doesn’t mean old Sebbo’s lost his Midas touch. Last girl had to stay in and wash her hair, OK? She probably hasn’t called because she’s lost my number. Unlucky!

SB

Town & Country House Article – Rural Affairs

Jo knows better than anyone why Liz Hurley was right about there being far more sex in the sticks…

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The Western Mail Interview – Turning up the Heat

Rin Simpson talks to Jo Carnegie – Wales’ own answer to Jilly Cooper – about sex, celebs and swinging…

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Heatworld’s perfect solution to a miserable credit crunch weekend…

God, today is depressing isn’t it? We’re back at work with a cumulative ten-day hangover and our bank balance is redder than Auntie Pam’s cheeks after too many festive sherries. Therefore, we’re planning to spend the weekend holed up with our fluffy-wuffy cat, the new series of Celebrity Big Brother, and a very good book. And what’s the name of the book in question? Country Pursuits, by a certain Ms Jo Carnegie – the very same Jo who was Deputy Editor of heat magazine until she turned all fancy-schmancy published author on us.

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The Welsh leg of my book signing tour went very well last week. It was held at the rather groovy Cameo Club in the gorgeous Cardiff district of Pontcanna. With its grand three-storey town houses and tree-lined streets, Pontcanna is known as the trendy media part of Cardiff. That’s why I live there of course, ahem. Charlotte Church’s parents used to own the Robin Hood pub at the bottom of my road and Charl could be seen on occasion collecting empty pint glasses, probably when the bar maid didn’t turn up. Or maybe she had just drunk them all herself? Anyway, I digress. The signing was great, a very glam affair with lots of people including TV presenters, BAFTA winners, fashion designers and other ‘faces’ (unfortunately Shirley Bassey couldn’t make it). At 10am the next day, Wales’ biggest paper The Western Mail was arriving at my flat to interview and photograph me about COUNTRY PURSUITS. I woke up late with a throbbing champagne-induced headache, realised I had no tea or milk or biscuits and ran like a wild woman with hair still wet from the shower to the corner shop. I arrived back gasping at my front door just as Rin, the journalist turned up. Not the best first impression, but I obviously did something right as they want to come back and do an ‘at home’ shoot in January. Someone likes my taste – woo! It’s perfect timing for the release of the paperback – hopefully the gaping hole in the kitchen wall will have been fixed by my builder by then…

It’s been quite a busy few days in Churchminster land. Yesterday I hotfooted it from my pad in Cardiff to London to interview the Sugababes. For a change the trains were running on time (yes First Great Western, you know who you are) and I arrived at Paddington in a relatively serene state of mind. Then it was on the tube over to a South West London studio, where heat was shooting the Sugababes for the much coveted heat interview slot. The schedule was meant to run like this:

10am: Girls go into make up.
1pm: Start shooting (well, there are three of them)
3pm: I do the interview.

However, when I arrived at just before 3pm, they were STILL IN MAKE UP. I mean blimey, they’re all young and gorgeous, how can three people take so long to get ready? I wasn’t even that bad when I was in the ‘Heather Shimmer’ lipstick and half-a-can-of-Silverkrin- phase as a teenager. Apparently there had been some trauma about the hats they were wearing (the finished image will be in heat early next month!) but once ‘Hatgate’ was sorted out, we could get the ball rolling. All three were very pleasant; although I have to say Amelle was definitely my favourite, what a sweetie.

Today I was back in the land of the dragon appearing on Radio Wales ‘Jamie and Louise show’ which is huge. I was there to talk about Country Pursuits and they got one of the girls who worked at the Beeb to read out an excerpt in a breathy voice, set to romantic/pornographic background music. It was hilarious – especially when she got to the bit about Sebastian resting his champagne on Sabrina’s pert breasts. Well, at least the good folk of Wales know what they’re in for now. I wonder if Bonnie Tyler would read it? She lives down the road from my boyfriend’s parents, in the gloriously named Mumbles on the Gower coast. Maybe we should bribe the postman to slip it through her letterbox – I reckon it would be right up Bonnie’s street.

The book signing at the Crown in Northill was a roaring success. My parents were hard at work beforehand pinning up posters in supermarkets, libraries and telegraph poles and it clearly worked as half the village turned up. I am acquiring rather a taste for bubbles, this time the lovely landlady Linda Blois gave me a bottle on the house. Well, I do find it helps my signature… my handwriting is appalling and I kept having to apologise to people for the illiterate scrawl defacing their brand-new copies. After the signing, myself and my parents Anna and Neil and three of my friends who made the trip from London with me – Helen Rance (the inspiration for the name of DI Rance in Country Pursuits!), Jez and Emma – had dinner in the restaurant. Although I hasten to add that although Hels is a police officer (murder squad), she isn’t at all like the grumpy, brow-beaten Kevin Rance. Afterwards, it was back to Carnegie HQ, where I took the guys to meet mum’s horses Shadow and Storm. Despite Jez claiming he was practically “brought up in a riding school,” he kept a fair distance – apart from throwing a Polo over Shadow’s stable door while shrieking with fear. His trepidation was understandable – Shadow is a whole twelve hands tall after all. She’s also 39! That little lady is like the Queen Mother of the equestrian world, I may have to buy her a super-sized handbag to complete the look. We all finished off in the garden at midnight drinking mum’s nuclear-strength brandy and gingers. That finished me off – I am still recovering.

Photos coming soon!

What a week! Monday night saw the launch of my book at the Union Club in Soho. It was a suitable ‘countryside’ venue with moose heads, bookcases and squashy sofas galore. Moet and Chandon very kindly supplied the bubbles and a good time was had by all. On Wednesday, I went on BBC Radio Northampton. The DJ, an Aussie called Bernie Keith was a jolly sort – until he started reading out excerpts from the book about certain ‘members’ nestling where they shouldn’t be. I nearly fell off my chair until Bernie reminded me it was a prerecord and wasn’t going out live. Yesterday I went on heat radio to talk about the return of the bonkbuster. The interviewer asked me if any of the characters were based on me. Given that most of them are champagne swilling or sex mad, I had to say no of course! I’ve had some fab reviews so far and five stars all the way on Amazon, which is brilliant. Next Wednesday I have a book signing at my parents’ local pub, the Crown in Northill, Bedfordshire. If you’re in the area, come on down! It’s a gorgeous little place where I spent many hours of my misspent youth. Right, better shoot, I am off down to the Gower coast camping. The weather forecast predicts torrential rain. Oh the joy of British weather. You’d never get a summer like that in Churchminster….

Photo by Sam Eades

“Renee is delicate and vulnerable and I always feel like protecting her. I adore her”

George Clooney is a major movie star and lusted after by women the world over. But what’s really going on between him and Renee Zellweger? And is he a Casanova in real life? A lucky Jo Carnegie gets to meet him and find out.

It’s the ultimate fantasy: a hot date on Valentine’s Day with the world’s most eligible bachelor, George Clooney. You’re alone in his sumptuous hotel room. As you sit opposite each other, he looks into your eyes and…

Well, pinch yourselves ladies, because this isn’t a daydream. It is the most romantic day of the year and Heat is about to meet the 41-year old movie star at luxury hotel, Claridge’s. George is in London promoting his latest films – Solaris, an arty romance set in space, and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, a dark comedy George directed and starred in. And I’ve been invited along to meet the man himself.

As it’s Valentine’s Day, I decide to try my luck and arrive with 12 red roses. We’re also hoping the flowers will soften George up – Hollywood stars are notoriously cagey when talking about their private lives. And George seems to have one hell of a personal life – he’s been linked to a host of women, including, Julia Roberts, Parisian waitress Celine Balitran, porn star Krista Allen, Mariella Frostrup, Lisa Snowdon and, most recently, Renee Zellweger.

As I wait in his suite, the door at the end of the corridor suddenly opens. The deep, gravelly tones of his instantly recognisable voice drift towards us. And then George is there, standing in the doorway.

He’s gorgeous. Dressed casually in a blue jumper and jeans, his eyes are drooping endearingly due to a nasty chest and throat infection. But despite his illness, warmth oozes from his eyes, his voice and his handshake. Encouraged, we give him the flowers and a card.

“To George”, he reads out in a slow, deliberate manner. “Be my Valentine?” He looks at us with a cheeky grin. “Now I feel bad because I haven’t bought you anything”.

Never mind that, what about answering the question in our card? But we’ve still got plenty of time together…

Apart from ours, have you had any more flowers today?

[Pulls mock sad expression] I didn’t get any other flowers. I’m a little hurt.

Not even any cards?

No cards.

Have you sent any flowers or cards?

[Thinks for a moment] Maybe that’s the reason I didn’t get any.

Maybe you need to start sending them out if you want to get any back.

See, I didn’t think of that. Now I’ve learned something about what I’ve been doing wrong. But I have been living on the road. It’s not all my fault.

What would be your ideal Valentine’s date?

I don’t know. Where’s a good romantic place to go?

How about a nice restaurant?

Yeah. Somewhere dark with candles and a good band. It seems a nice thing to do, doesn’t it?

It sounds very nice.

And you have to find a good spot. That’s the secret. But you have to plan it out. You can’t just ring and make a reservation on Valentine’s Day because you’re going to get screwed.

Think ahead, like with the cards. Now you’re learning

I’m with you now. I get it. You know what I’m going to do right now? I’m going to start sending cards out for next year. Just shoot them out. In all different directions. Until they stick. Thanks for the tips.

Well, I’ve got your best interests at heart, George. I don’t want to think of you sitting here all alone.

I know that. But you haven’t sent out Valentine’s cards either, have you?

That’s because I gave flowers to you. You’re a lucky man, you know – I don’t just give out flowers to anyone.

But you didn’t see the flowers I got you [George gestures towards a bunch of flowers sitting on a shelf behind me. They are the hotel's flowers] And you can have the vase they’re in. The lovely vase. And the clock [Chuckles] Take it all with you.

Thanks. You’ve got a reputation for being quite a charmer. Are you?

[Smiles] Well, you’ve seen it. I’m not all that charming. I don’t think I’m a charmer. I used to be much more charming. I’ve lost my edge.

A recent survey said you you’re the man British women would most like to have a Valentine’s date with.

Are you kidding me? [Grins] Boy, the standards have really dropped. [Laughs] That’s a weird thing, isn’t it? You know now, when you see me close up, I’m old and grey.

Oh stop it. You’re not old and grey…

I’m feeling really old and grey today. I’m feeling beat up.

It’s just because you’re not feeling very well.

Yeah, I’m closed up with Night Nurse, man. What is that shit? It’s really strong stuff. I’ve been walking into walls.

Do you find women throw themselves at you?

Not really. Actually, it’s a really funny thing.

Why?

They have this image but as soon as they get up next to me, the reality of me and what they thought of me is very different.

How?

I’m usually greyer.

You’re not that grey. Do you dye your hair?

[Looks horrified] I do not dye my hair! The only advantage we guys have is that we can get wrinkles and our hair turns white and everyone still thinks it looks OK.

Didn’t one woman throw herself under your car in Rome though?

Oh yeah.

What happened?

It was a weird thing. Every once in a while people react very strangely. Especially in a crowd. There was a sort of frenzy and she got a bit crazy.

Your fans are going to get into a bigger frenzy when they get to see Solaris. You get you bum out, don’t you?

I do. Well, the funny thing is…have you seen the film?

I have – and it’s a very fine bum, George.

Ye-ah… [He doesn't sound convinced] Well, someone once said I was too old to be doing [scenes like] that.

Really? Were you doing butt clenches in the mirror the night before?

No. [Smiles] In general, the more beat up it is, the better.

Your other film, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, is about a trash-pot TV host. You’ve got strong views about TV, haven’t you?

Sure. I don’t like entertainment at the expense of other people. It’s like American Idol. It’s gotten to the point where they just want to laugh at the ones who aren’t talented.

We take it you’re talking about Simon Cowell…

He’s the perfect example. He’s not helping them; he’s doing it to show how interesting he can be. All he’s trying to do is get laid.

At least he’s quite open about it.

He is. And I’m like, “If that’s your best way of getting laid!” Good luck to him. Guys like that don’t last very long.

Let’s get on to your love life instead. You’ve been linked with lots of women, haven’t you?

[Wry smile] Right.

So, let’s run through who you have and haven’t dated…

OK…

Julia Roberts

[Chuckles] No! She’s just a friend.

Lucy Liu?

Lucy and I went out on a date. Lucy and I did ER together and we went out very briefly. She’s just a great close friend now. She literally lives in the house next door to me. I can throw rocks at her.

You were also linked to actress Krista Allen, who has been in soft-porn films.

Krista Allen and I did a television series together years ago. At that point I hadn’t developed a taste for porn. [Cheeky grin] She was going out with Charlie Sheen then. She and I were just friends. But that’s all.

And the most one is Renee…

I know, Renee.

Well?

Renee is like one of my closest friends. I talk to her twice a week. But we’re not going out, we’re not dating each other. I write her letters and we talk about politics, life, work. She’s great. She’s delicate and vulnerable and I always feel like protecting her. I adore her.

But there’s nothing romantic going on?

Nothing at all.

You were also linked in 2001. Were you together then?

Yeah, we dated for a while.

Why did it end?

I don’t know. We were working in two different hemispheres at the same time and we said, “This isn’t really getting started.” The thing about it was that we really liked and cared about each other and it was important to hang on to each other. We check in with each other all the time.

She seems lovely…

She, she…[Thinks] To be as famous as she is, she comes in and she’s an open book. You know, honest and sweet and forthcoming. All these things you can’t believe she is, she is.

You talk about her in such glowing terms. Are you sure you won’t get back together?

I don’t think so. We’re such good friends now. I have such a good relationship with Renee. [Smiles] Why spoil it?

So are you single at the moment?

Yes.

You go out with normal girls as well. Do you worry about them selling stories on you?

Sure. They have. But you can’t go into things thinking like that. You just have to hope you judgement is good.

All these women you’re linked with – are they mostly friends?

It depends. Sometimes I’m going out with them but most of the time they’re just friends. I mean, if someone were to see us sitting here, we’re linked [heat almost keels over at this point]. And that’s the simple truth of it. If you’re not married – and I once was [George married actress Talia Balsam in 1989] – and you’re a single guy, you’re linked with people.

You’re not doing much for you womanising reputation. Does it annoy you that people view you in that way?

You know, I’m going to stop trying to correct all the things people say about me that don’t make sense, because I’d spend all my days and nights trying to do it. What else can you do?

Do you ever want to get married again?

I don’t know.

But don’t you worry about getting lonely?

I’ve probably been lonelier in bad relationships than I have by myself.

Back to my original question. It’s Valentine’s Day and I’ve got no plans. What are you up to later?

I’m actually going out with my friends and assistant for dinner.

Shame. You know, I can’t think why you haven’t got a girlfriend.

[Eyes twinkling] Well, things kinda go up and down.

If things get too bad, I don’t mind going out with you.

OK, Jo. [Smiles] Thank you Jo. That’s very nice…

There’s a pause. George looks across the table and for a second, I find myself gazing into his eyes. It all gets a bit much. Professionalism thrown to the wind, I blush beetroot. George carries on smiling, amused by the effect he’s having. “How you doing there?” he asks. “You hanging in there?” The PR comes in and signals the end of the interview. I manage to regain my composure and George shakes our hand. “Thank you so much for the flowers, it was very nice to meet you”, he says. “Now I must go and blow my nose”.

That’s George in a nutshell. He might be one of the sexiest film stars on the planet but he’s also one of the most down-to-earth. It’s an irresistible combination – and one of those rare occasions when the reality actually turns out to be better than the fantasy. Sigh…